In a city like Seattle, any commute that doesn't involve you driving a car is a blessing. When I first moved to Seattle in 2009, I generally opted for walking a mile and a half to work or busing a bit further to school, and every time I passed over I-5 I silently said a prayer of gratitude not to be on it.

Beautiful downtown Seattle, and less beautiful I-5 S. (Photo taken from billgillam.com)

Once I moved near Green Lake, I stuck with the longer bus commute (35 to 40-ish minutes) for a couple of years. Most mornings I would wake up, go for a run around the lake, then catch the bus into school while catching up on my pleasure reading. Eventually, however, I upgraded my bike from a vintage Schwinn with faulty gears to a Cannondale Quick that could nimbly go up most hills, even with a granny like me at the helm. I quickly abandoned my bus commute.

Combining two great loves: mbira and bike commuting

I quickly grew to love many things about bike commuting. The speed, for one: true to its name, the Quick helped me to beat the slow Metro route 48 bus more often than not. The exercise, for another, and the way it was built into my day. And finally, I felt happier being closer to the outdoors at least twice a day, and felt pleased by reducing my carbon footprint ever so slightly. But my bike was stolen -- twice (despite the $120 heavy-duty Kryptonite NY Fahgettaboudit lock I purchased the second time) -- and by the time I finally learned to keep it indoors, it seemed more efficient for Greg to start riding it on his 15+ mile commute rather than me on my 3 mile one. I was back to the mercies of King County Transit.

At the same time, I had resolved to complete the 2014 Runner's World #runstreak. Why commit to running at least a mile a day from Thanksgiving to New Year's? In my case, to have fun, to have a modicum of external accountability, and to shake things up a bit. In the course of runstreaking, I found that, on some days, running to and from work was the easiest way to get that mile in during a hectic December. I had become an accidental run commuter! It has been nine months and counting and I haven't looked back since.

Why should you consider run commuting? Here are my top 5 benefits of run commuting:

1. Expanding the world. Have you ever chosen to not do something based on traffic or parking? Bus schedules? Run commuting (within limits) opens the world in a new way; even if too far to go solely on foot, often a combined bus/run approach can get you pretty much anywhere in Seattle. Conversely, my bit of Seattle (within a 3-4 miles radius of my house) has become known to me in a way that it never could from a car.
2. Learn to love hills. Seattle is hilly, and I am from flat-as-a-pancake Oklahoma. My main criterion for a run used to be (lack of) elevation change. But with run commuting, there are places I need to be, so I suck it up and run -- or sometimes walk -- up those big hills. Do it often enough, and you don't even notice anymore.
3. Efficiency. You build the exercise into your day, get to be outdoors, and all of a sudden have finished your miles for the week. What's not to love?
4. Going home is great motivation. I'll be honest -- I don't always feel like running home at the end of a long day. But knowing I'll have a hot shower/dinner at the end, and that the alternative is to stay and keep working... well, it works wonders for my motivation!
5. Strength training. Most days I run with a running backpack. The Deuter Race X has worked well for me, and these days I don't even notice it when I run. Still, it can add between 5-10 pounds to the weight my legs have to support. I've gotten strong from it, and initially was so amazed at how fast I felt without the backpack. As six-time USATF outdoor 800m champion Alysia Montaño said about running through her pregnancy, "my legs were so much stronger after basically working out with a weight vest on for nine and a half months."

As light as a 5-10 pound bag of air...

Run commuting is not all roses, though. My top 5 disadvantages:

1. Wet. It rains in Seattle (duh). Be prepared on the other end (towel, change of clothes, warm coffee).
2. Smell. I sweat a lot, especially in the summer. I make use of the Shower Pill (or a knockoff) to make things a bit more hygienic. Your office may also have a shower, which leads to...
3. The need to plan ahead. Running clothes, work clothes, soap, shampoo, hairbrush, etc. Things can get complicated quickly! You have to be organized. My schedule changes somewhat frequently, since I have multiple offices, so I tend to schlep things everyday; some people bring everything they will need to the office on the weekend and leave it there for the week.
4. Weight considerations. The difference between carrying 5 and 10 additional pounds is substantial, and you(r back and legs) can tell. Turn a critical eye toward what you carry. Do you need to carry water? Can you leave some clothes at work for the end of the week? If you take your lunch, do you carry it in glass or plastic?  
5. Chafing. With all that wet/sweat/clothes, I sometimes have chafing issues related to the backpack, especially around my collarbones. Use Body Glide if it's a big issue. During the summer I have taken to run commuting every other day, or run without the backpack, to let things heal a bit.

Finally, a few words of advice. Do invest in some gear (backpack, headlamp, reflective vest) that will make your commute a bit easier and/or safer. I wouldn't recommend wearing earbuds of any kind, after a few close shaves with inattentive drivers (PEOPLE GET OFF YOUR DAMN CELL PHONES! Especially you in the white Kia...).  And smile! :) People may well stare at you run commuting, but it's only because they're stuck in their cars, envious.

There's nothing like a family reunion. Especially for a family as far flung as the Oiselle family, who in some cases have never met in the flesh. I had the distinct feeling of a family reunion today -- laughter and hugs at every turn -- when I attended the grand opening of the Oiselle flagship store in University Village.

I have followed the fortunes of this little -- OK, not so little anymore -- women's running apparel company for a few years now, and I have come to care deeply about its success. (My husband would claim that I am contributing directly to its success with the number of O packages that arrive in the mail, but that's another story...) I have interacted with them on Twitter, cheered the Oiselle ladies on in local and national races, and given the "Oiselle nod" to many a gal sporting their duds out on the Green Lake loop. So of course I decided I would be at the opening today. I even pinched part of the dessert I was making for a dinner party tomorrow to make a special #oisellestore themed treat for Sally Bergesen herself!

Oiselle logo, in blue(berry)

Here are some of my impressions, for those who wanted to be here today but couldn't:

• When I arrived, there was quite the crowd, inside and outside the store. There was an enormous line for autographs from Lauren Fleshman and Kara Goucher (duh), plus an enormous line of folks wanting to buy merchandise inside. I said hello to Sally and headed inside to check out the store...
• The store itself was smaller than I expected from photos I had seen on Instagram, but well laid out. There are two dressing rooms at the back of the store, and there seemed to be a good mix of Oiselle products, ranging from pants and capris to shirts and tanks, to bras, and even their swimwear (honestly, I never thought I would say I was excited to try on a swimsuit, but there you go...). There is a widescreen TV behind the register, which I hope means viewing parties in the future! And there was a rather complicated looking system of wires and pulleys that appeared to control the heights and locations of the clothes racks (which didn't touch the floor!). Outside, a bench, and opposite the entrance there is a garden store, Ravenna Bloom, which contributes to a sense of beauty that is unexpected in a shopping mall. 

Lauren's profile and Mac's booty on full display

Store exterior

• The Flight Manual: an elegantly laid out pamphlet declaring the Oiselle manifesto that was handed out I entered the store. More than rules for running, more than a company's mission -- I dare say these are pretty good rules for living. Things like "Build the Sisterhood", "Own the Journey", and "Believe". I like to imagine Sally and Co. nailing these up on their Lululemon and Nike neighbors, a la Martin Luther. He needed 95 theses to get his point across; O just about covers it in only 7. 

Taken from the Oiselle blog

• Stars! In addition to Lauren and Kara, there were Oiselle celebrities like Sally, Lesko, and Mac (all of whom graciously signed my Flight Manual). Little Wing was out in full force, as were other athletic stars such as Adam Goucher, Jesse Thomas, and a preponderance of the Brooks Beasts (including fasties Nick Symmonds, Casimir Loxsom, and Phoebe Wright), plus Picky Bars showerer and middle distance stud Andrew Wheating. I also saw a host of Oiselle Team runners -- famous from the internets, at least to me -- and a whole lot of superfans.

Hanging out with my BFFs Kara and Lauren, as you do... (plus photobomb from Phoebe Wright!)

In summary, I felt a palpable sense of joy and community in those gathered for the grand opening, and came away SO EXCITED for what's to come. Here's to your continued flight and the growth of the sisterhood, Oiselle -- I for one can't wait to come along for the run!

This year I have been volunteering as a Sunday school teacher for one of the 4th and 5th grade classes at University Unitarian Church. Given my background as a high school teacher, I had originally hoped to work with older youth, but there were no openings this year, so I instead ended up with the younger crowd. Having little teaching experience with those under the age of 16, I was a little apprehensive, but the class has turned out to be a joy to teach: each week the students are engaged, creative, thoughtful, and nearly always make me laugh.

We have been following a modified curriculum entitled "Spirit of Adventure", which explores the lives of famous UUs and of people whose lives embody the 7 UU principles. Each lesson usually includes a game and an activity as well as a discussion; the kids have loved learning about Fannie Farmer (by making pancakes), Frank Lloyd Wright (Lego creations), N.C. Wyeth (illustrator of the original Treasure Island, so we dressed up as pirates and had a treasure hunt), and Clara Barton (we played 'Operation' and learned first aid from the Red Cross). It is generally very light on what would traditionally be called theology.

This week there was no "famous UUs" lesson plan, so we piggybacked on another class's lesson to learn about Jesus. To kick things off, we asked the class what they already knew about Jesus; responses included that Jesus "lived in England", " was the 'son of God'" (airquotes included), and was "really into Christianity". They generally seemed to know about the resurrection story, but seemed careful to phrase it in terms of "Christians believe that...". Following this discussion, we read excerpts from a short biography about Jesus's birth, teachings, followers, and death and resurrection.

When we asked what they had learned about Jesus's teachings from the book, most student focused on Jesus's teachings about helping the poor, but one student in particular took a rather non-traditional view of things. Jesus was a bit of a rabble-rouser, she said adamantly, and the crucifixion? Well, those Romans were just following the rules of the land. Another student agreed that Romans were awesome. We steered the discussion into what we should do when laws are unjust (though I felt on somewhat shaky ground here defining "unjust", being a generally by-the-book type gal), and brought up women's suffrage, the civil rights movement, and Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience". I wish we could have spent more time on this topic, and am fascinated to see their emerging morality do battle (gladiator-style?) with Machiavellian self-interest.

You have to admit that Romans ARE awesome.

Finally, we had a activity entitled "What Would Jesus Do?". You see a bully on the playground; what would Jesus do? Your friend is pulling his cat's tail; what would Jesus do? The Roman advocate decided that Jesus would probably give a long, boring lecture, thus breaking up any conflict. Honestly, I didn't learn much about what Jesus would do, but I did learn what my students would do (punch the bully!).

In the end, I decided that Jesus may need a PR campaign more than he needs a proselytizer. I hope that in the lesson we conveyed some of the essence of Jesus's life, and what most UUs believe: that regardless of your opinion on the divinity of his life or death, Jesus's teachings are radical -- for his time or ours -- and we'd probably be a lot better off if "love your neighbor" were a reality. 

I consider myself to be a (math) nerd with the best of them, so I had extra incentive to sign up for the I Heart Nerds 5K (aside from just wanting to run a 5K). The inaugural event took place Sunday morning in Marymoor Park in Redmond, which I had never visited in my 5+ years here. Probably because it's on the Eastside and is both a lake AND a toll away from Seattle.

The race started at 9AM, so I got up a bit before 7 and had an egg and toast, got ready to go, and coasted traffic-free over to the Eastside. There was plenty of parking for $1 at Marymoor Park and the race, which began and ended at the climbing wall, was easy to find. When I arrived, the D20 Brass Band ("Seattle's Nerdfunk Street Band") was warming up in the parking lot, which added a festive air to the proceedings.

I checked in and got my I Heart Nerds T-shirt ("You're not looking very nerdy", the guy at check-in told me admonishingly. I told him when you're as nerdy as I am, you don't need to flaunt it!) I had time to do my hair, hit the (actual, non-Porta-potty) bathrooms, and then do a quick mile-ish warmup and a few strides before the start of the race. I ran into my former housemate Clara, who had biked over to watch the race. Somewhere in there I realized, first, that I hadn't gotten my chip timer, and second, that there was no mat which meant there was no chip timing at all. Not what I was expecting (and I heard a few people grumbling about it), but I had my Garmin so at least I could keep track of myself.

About 400-ish people lined up for the start. The announcer asked us to line up "runners, then joggers, then walkers", which gave me a flash of irritation and then confusion: I'm not speedy but do consider myself to be a runner, so then what? I tried to line up among people wearing about the same amount of running attire as I was (about a third to a half of the way back). And we were off! I started strong, and Garmin clocked the first mile in 9:03, feeling pushed but strong, despite it feeling significantly hotter than when I usually run (it was NOT Oklahoma hot but I've become a PNW wimp and feel sapped by nearly any blazing sun).

About halfway through the second mile, though, I got a horrible side stitch and had to walk for a bit (actually, it was a side stitch/overfull stomach one-two punch; I could have dealt with the latter but not the former). I resumed running but had to walk several more times before trudging to the finish line. I finished in 30:27 (9:45/mile), according to my Garmin, which was a disappointment but understandable because of 1) side stitch, 2) weather, and 3) eating too much/too close to racing. I was disappointed that I hadn't had the mental toughness to keep going, but honestly in those moments I thought I would throw up and couldn't think of anything except stopping. Luckily, this race was mostly a check-in for me on the way to the Green Lake Gobble in November, so I have a clear idea of areas to focus on before then!   

In terms of the race itself, here is my list of what worked and what didn't:

PROS:

• D20 marching band! They were festively dressed and as funky as they claimed to be. They played at the beginning (which pumped everyone up) and at the end (when I was already deflated and didn't notice). Probably my favorite aspect of the race.
• Cost. Race was pretty cheap -- I think I paid $30, but saw that many people had taken advantage of an Amazon Local deal, which was probably much less. 
• Location. Marymoor Park is beautiful and flat, and I (mostly, see below) liked racing there very much. 
• The race started on time, precisely at 9AM.
• Free cookies! OK, these were from a vendor and not actually from the race, which only provided small bottles of water post-race. This probably is more of a neutral, but I felt like I should include it somewhere...

CONS:

• No chip timing. This was advertised as a "timed" race, but turned out to be only "gun-timed". I suppose it is my own fault for assuming that it would be chip-timed, but I might not have participated if I had known this ahead of time. (My husband commented that it would have been much more nerdy for them to time things extra exactly -- maybe to the hundredths of a second or something...) 
• Gravel course. A short but not insubstantial portion of the course was over unpacked gravel that felt a bit like running on sand -- I was not a fan.
• Start time. In my opinion, a race in August should have an earlier start time. Even 8 or 8:30AM would have kept us out of direct sunshine for a greater portion of the race (good for vampires like me).

All in all, it was neither my favorite race nor my favorite racing day, but after a very little post-race moping, by the end of the day I was again grateful for a body that can run and the opportunity and will to keep improving! 5K, I'll be back!

Last week's session on negotiation in a statistical career covered a broad range of situations in which negotiations skills might come in handy. The four panelists -- Nandini Kannan (UT San Antonio), David Madigan (Columbia), Nancy Reid (UToronto), and Kelly Zou (Pfizer) -- brought a wealth of experience in both academia and industry to the discussion. I summarized the first part of the session, about negotiating an initial salary, here. The remainder of the session took the form of scenarios posed by the moderator, Paula Roberson (UArkansas for Medical Sciences), in which negotiation might be needed.

Scenario 1: Negotiating pausing the tenure clock. This scenario can apply either to having children or to taking care of an elderly parent. Some institutions have formal agreements already in place with respect to the tenure clock, but if not, you might need to negotiate. In general, the same advice as for salary negotiations applies: just ask, and don't worry about figuring out if you'll get it or not. NR commented that it's the university's job (and in their best interest) to make sure that you can do your job well. Plus, she says, everyone wants women on their statistics faculty -- and if they don't, come to Canada! :) (NB: one special situation to note is that in Canada, if you take your first job just before finishing your thesis, the first year does not count against the tenure clock.)

DM also shared the experience of having an incoming faculty member negotiating to come up for tenure early. Don't do this! You are only negotiating against yourself. If you are successful early, go up for tenure early, but don’t negotiate it into your contract at the outset.

Scenario 2: Negotiating for a reduction of workload for major professional/service organization duties. What is appropriate here seems to be a bit greyer than in some scenarios, and depends highly on what the scope of the work is. Called to become the editor of JASA? Absolutely ask for a reduction in workload (at least in the academic sphere), since it's a major responsibility that also brings honor to your institution and department. Organizing a conference? Perhaps less reasonable to ask for a reduced workload. If you have a clear sense of the value of the activity, you can make a case to the chair/dean. 

In industry, KZ noted that negotiating a reduction in workload might be reasonable if the activity is highly relevant to your assigned tasks at work. Many companies have yearly goal-setting or professional development plans; you can write these extra activities into your plan, and the achievements can show innovation and leadership. (But avoid the impression that you are overextending yourself). Extra care may be needed if you work in the financial sector, where regulation may limit your extracurricular activities.

Scenario 3: Negotiating sabbatical and/or extended leave. Sabbatical schedule is usually fairly straightforward with respect to university policy, but there may be negotiations about how much support is available while on sabbatical, or whether you are allowed to teach outside of your university. Extended leave (such as the program officer position at NSF held by NK for several years) can be harder -- while it can be a valuable experience that reflects well on you and the university, it may be hard to "replace" you (teaching-wise) while you are still on the rolls. Most importantly, make sure the review process (for promotion, merit raises, etc.) is clear before you leave. Will the extended leave be viewed as a positive? You likely won't have as much time for research while you are away.

Scenario 4: Negotiating workload (such as teaching release and for local service). When can you ask your dean or department chair for release time? Activities that will add value to your institution (and cannot be easily accomplished within the scope of your current duties) such as developing a new course or building a new program are most likely to be well-received. NK commented that minority and women faculty are often put on many committees (because it looks good) -- if this is the case you may be able to negotiate the 3 or 4 committees where you will have the greatest impact.

Scenario 5: Negotiating for support that will help in applying for grants (e.g., partial time for a programmer). DM reiterated here, once again, that if you don't ask for it, you won't get it! As long as you make a reasonable case, asking for this kind of support will not reflect badly on you. KZ mentioned the results of a Harvard study that found that women tended to receive smaller grants than men because they asked for less money. Make sure you ask for support if it's needed, and realize that you are setting the stage for future grants in asking for support for students, programmers, etc. (there may be internal grant funders at your institution that can provide this type of support). 

Scenario 6: Negotiating at the time of changing position within a company/institution. DM noted that there is diversity by institution here with respect to what is negotiable. Some roles (say, within the department) may be preset in terms of compensation and teaching relief; exterior roles within the larger university (e.g., faculty senate, committee on curriculum) may be invisible to the department and require more to make your work apparent in these areas. NK emphasized the importance of clarity on how accepting these leadership roles will affect your promotion. She recommended getting agreements in writing (deans change, and verbal agreements may not be honored), and trying to negotiate some time off to get research back on track after a heavy administrative duty such as department chair.

Scenario 7: Negotiating collaborative authorship and author position. The panelists agreed that, while potentially uncomfortable, it's best to discuss this up front (before a grant is submitted). Make sure to be listed as a co-PI or investigator, not just a consultant. Make sure you have publication rights, and make sure you are all on the same page as to the expectations for contributions for authorship.

Scenario 8: Negotiating with funding agencies about the terms of an award. Know that if you get funded, your proposed budget will be cut. But by calling the program officer, you may be able to mitigate the effects. Additional student support is the easiest to negotiate; salary is hardest, since NSF has set rules. The program officer may be able to offer suggestions (especially for women/minorities) on where else to seek funding. It can sometimes be a good idea to call the program officer (ask nicely!) at the end of the fiscal year, when they might have some extra money (e.g., for an extra student). [Ed: NK primarily has experience with NSF funding, but suggested that the same approach is possible with NIH awards.]

Scenario 9: Negotiating retirement. DM commented that in academia, there's a bias in favor of retirement because of the desire to renew and bring in new blood. That means there's often willingness to negotiate and make retirement attractive. Retirement plans in academia have become "ever more exotic" and may include financial incentives -- so be creative! In industry, a retirement plan might be possible, such as a gradual reduction of hours, or working with mentees for knowledge transfer before you leave. When layoffs are imminent, taking a retirement package may be an attractive option (make sure to negotiate having health care in retirement, if possible!).

And there's enough advice to take you from graduation to retirement! One final piece of advice, from my fabulous dissertation advisor Patrick Heagerty (who was recently named chair of UW Biostatistics): identify the things you NEED (versus the things you WANT), and make sure you negotiate so that you will have the tools/resources at your disposal to be successful in your job.

Disclaimer: All opinions expressed here are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of the American Statistical Association or the panelists. Some comments and questions have been summarized for content; I have tried to do this faithfully -- to the best of my ability -- but make no promises. 


Call for comments:

• What have been your (successful or unsuccessful) strategies for negotiation?  
• What are the areas of negotiation not covered by this panel, whether specific to a statistical career or not?

One the highlights of the 2014 Joint Statistical Meetings in Boston for me was attending a panel discussion on negotiation in a statistical career, from the initial job offer to negotiating leave and even retirement terms. While I am getting wonderful training in the theory and applications of (bio)statistics as part of my PhD program at the University of Washington, practical advice such as this is less common. The session was sponsored by the Joint Committee on Women in the Mathematical Sciences, among others, and though the advice given was applicable to all, the panel especially addressed issues of interest to women, who historically do less negotiating than men (to their professional detriment). 

The panel was moderated by Paula Roberson (PR), professor and chair of the biostatistics department at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences, and the panelists were:

• Nandini Kannan (NK), professor of statistics at the University of Texas at San Antonio and past/future program director at the National Science Foundation
• David Madigan (DM), professor of statistics, executive vice president, and dean of the faculty of Arts and Sciences at Columbia University
• Nancy Reid (NR), University professor of statistics at the University of Toronto
• Kelly Zou (KZ), director of statistics and statistics lead in market research at Pfizer

The morning began with a discussion of effective and ineffective negotiation techniques during the initial recruitment process. Here is a brief summary of the panel's dos and don'ts:

DO:

• Know the market. The ASA publishes surveys of salaries by sector every couple of years; these can help you get an idea of what salaries might be reasonable for someone with your experience (though location and cost of living should also be considered). Salaries in the academic arena will also differ by the type of institution (a large research institution may have more flexibility in salary than a teaching-focused college, for example) or by the kind of department (biostatistics vs. statistics vs. mathematics, etc.). Talking to friends who have gone through the process recently may be helpful; recruiters will likewise know the market well and can give you an indication of the prevailing winds. In evaluating salary offers, especially in industry, keep in mind that compensation may be a mix of base salary, bonuses, and stock options.    
• Think outside the box. Although it is often the focus, salary is not the only dimension worth considering. At academic institutions, the department's hands may be tied with respect to salary, but the department chair may have more flexibility with respect to physical space, teaching load, summer support, and/or startup packages. Even in government or industry, there may be non-monetary benefits such as telecommuting that can make a job more attractive.   
• Ask for what you think you deserve. Women especially tend to feel that negotiating will reflect badly on them, but it is expected, not adversarial. As NR explained, negotiating is really "a friendly exercise that is better for both of you". And it's OK to walk away from the offer if necessary.
• Realize you won't necessarily get everything you ask for. But you definitely won't get what you don't ask for. 
• Bring up the terms of a competing offer, where applicable. There is nothing inappropriate about this, and it can be a powerful tool (or a "reinforcement of your value", as DM said). Especially in university settings, there can be a staggering range in salaries -- at least a factor of two between the highest and lowest paid at the same level of responsibility! DM attributes this to both differences in negotiation at the outset, and to retention packages later in one's career. Bringing up another offer will be most effective when the jobs are similar in terms of location, desirability, and responsibilities. 

DON'T:

• Jump at the first offer. It smacks of desperation, and can indicate that you don't really know your own worth.
  
• Come with a "laundry list". Or be completely inflexible in negotiating.
• Negotiate against yourself. NR recommends resisting the temptation to jump to the end of negotiations ("Give me a number.") because of discomfort with the process of negotiation. Don't hand over your power immediately, and don't try to imagine what's going on in the other person's head ("can they afford this?", "who will teach this class if I don't?") - that's not your job in the negotiation process! 
• Take a job that will make you miserable. No matter the salary. 

The panel also addressed a number of specific situations later in one's career in which negotiation techniques might be needed, but I'll save these for another post. 

Disclaimer: All opinions expressed here are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of the American Statistical Association or the panelists. Some comments and questions have been summarized for content; I have tried to do this faithfully -- to the best of my ability -- but make no promises.

In the last few months I have slowly become a bit more serious about running. First I bought a Garmin to entertain my data-loving mind, then I took up speed work and tempo runs for fun courtesy of the FIRST training program, and these days I am rarely without some sort of Oiselle dud on my body (whether running or not). To top it off, I recently married a Very Serious Runner. So when my husband Greg told me that reading Once a Runner by John L. Parker, Jr., was the thing that separated Very Serious Runners from non-serious runners, I knew I had to read it.

Only the Very Serious and the Very Fast need apply.

Part of the allure of reading Once a Runner comes from its pedigree. After self-publishing the book in 1978, Parker sold the book out of his trunk at races for years. Runners ate up the detailed descriptions of training regimens and the inner life of an elite distance runner, and, once the book was out of print, copies of it eventually sold for hundreds of dollars on eBay. (Fear not! These days it can be bought for more normal prices, thanks to a new edition published in 2010.) 

Once a Runner tells the story of elite miler and college student Quenton Cassidy, who wants to run a sub-4:00 mile and qualify for the Olympics. He chases this goal despite the best efforts of several Anti-Runners (a slimy university president! a thick-headed and inept football coach!). I enjoyed the book most when it stuck to Quenton's training, describing grueling workouts, the feeling of effortless running, or the mindless phrases/song snippets that can get stuck in a runner's head. I enjoyed the book least whenever Quenton stopped running. Good thing it was a book about running. 

They say there's nothing like a great novel. And this is nothing like a great novel. Parker's prose is often clumsy; as this Slate review summarized, "it frequently reads like the work of an eighth-grader going through his Beat phase". There's not much of a plot. Bit players with elaborate back stories are introduced only to disappear by the following scene. Parker himself describes his writing process as "cutting the top off my head and pouring out everything about running that was in there". This is the Technicolor version of Parker's life: the story as he wished it had been, where runners are clever and heroic, and university administrators are evil plotters at worst and hapless dupes at best. To me, there is something tender and raw about seeing someone's fictional best self. Taken in this way, it feels petty and a little unkind to poke fun at the book.

On the other hand, John L. Parker, Jr. started this rumble. My tl;dr summary of the book is as follows:

• Runners are special, otherworldly beings.
• Runners cannot be understood by any person with double-digit body fat percentage.
• And don't even think about trying to date a Runner. 

In this idealized world, Parker seems to be enamored of running fast to the exclusion of all else. Quenton's "inverted teardrop" thighs are lovingly and repeatedly described; when not running, Quenton enjoys staring at his single-digit-body-fat self in the mirror (seriously -- in great contrast to Parker, *I* think an author should only get to use the phrase "fluted lines" once per book.). In the voice of Quenton, he describes how a slower runner is not worthy to launder the jockstrap of someone faster. In the author's view, "runners" resemble "joggers" (described variously as "huffing fatties" and "aging road runners") "only in the sense that a puma resembles a pussy cat". It is clear which type of feline Parker considers himself -- the first edition of the book even listed Parker's own PRs(!).

For me, Parker's snobbery about running -- especially read in 2014 -- is too much to bear. As Parker himself writes about running, "the Secret is that there is no Secret". The only thing necessary to be a runner? Running. That's all. I will never have single-digit body fat and I will never run a 4:00 mile (or a 6:00 mile, or possibly an 8:00 mile, for that matter). But I am still a runner. And I can train hard and be my best self and #fangirl all the amazing strong and fast runners that come across my path. Without laundering a single jockstrap. One of the things I love about Oiselle (other than their amazing clothes) is how they embody this philosophy, simultaneously celebrating fast, competitive women AND the larger running community (no matter how fast).

In response to all my raging, Greg (an accomplished runner himself, if several jockstraps below both the protagonist and the author) reasonably pointed out that distance running WAS a very strange thing to do in the 1970s. When runners read this book, they felt like they were finally understood. Point taken. But all in all, in 2014, I prefer to stand on the side of community, support, and inclusiveness.

As a coda, I have two more possibly relevant tidbits to add. One is that I have to admit that, despite all the complaints above, I did read the recently published sequel to Once a Runner, Again to Carthage (more readable, yet with all the pomposity you know and love). And Greg and I now regularly make references to the pair of books. So JLP must have done something right?

Second, I saw this advertisement the other day on Facebook:

Clever hacks, by John L. Parker, Jr.

"Miles of trials" (though not "miles of smiles"!) is a direct quote from the book. Impossible as it may seem, thirty-five years after it was published, Once a Runner has gone mainstream.