Weighing in on everything from avocados to Zimbabwe

Weighing in on everything from avocados to Zimbabwe

Baby Present


posted by Leila Z.

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One of the things I have been proud of in the ten and a half months since my son Sam was born has been my ability to focus on him and what he is doing in the moment. I'm not sure why this has been so easy -- I generally am infinitely distractible. Maybe it's because -- given my struggles with infertility -- Sam is likely the only chance I'll have to parent a baby, so I want to fully engage in and remember these days. More likely it's an evolutionary advantage to have a mother who's highly attentive to the baby's needs and actions. In any case, I have found it relatively easy to spend hours playing with him, singing to him, reading to him, and acting as a human jungle gym for my adventurous boy. I can't help but watch carefully and admire his intense concentration as he explores the world around him, and his joy at finding his favorite toy or being surprised by a funny face. (His rage can also be impressive!) It feels decadent and I sometimes feel guilty over my neglected emails, the pile of laundry on the table, and the dishes in the sink.

Sam also lives in the present.

A few weeks ago, we borrowed a book called Baby Present by Rachel Neumann -- inspired by the work of Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh -- from the Seattle Public Library, which I love to read as much for me as for Sam. It features lots of cute and cuddly babies (I'm told babies are fascinated looking at pictures of other babies) and the entirety of the text reads:

"Breathe in, baby. Breathe out.
You are perfect just as you are.
Sitting in the here and now.
The past is gone. It was pretty short to begin with.
The future is tricky and a long way off.
Right now is just right.
There is nothing you have to do.
There is nowhere you have to go.
Feel your belly rise and fall.
Present moment. Wonderful moment."

Each time I read it to Sam, I am reminded that babyhood (heck, life!) is short, and that I'm in the right place, dishes be damned. I especially like the lines about the past and the future. I am reminded to focus on the present moment/wonderful moment of now, and not anticipate the grief I will have when my baby is too grown up to delight in climbing back and forth over my body. I am reminded that this action -- making Sam laugh, or rocking him as his body curls into mine and eyelids flutter -- is both what I am doing, and all I want to do.


 

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